what's this?

Pretty sure this is lonely. My stomach hurts, I'm bored, I want someone to talk to. I still have a few more months (7 to be exact) until my one year of singleness is up. I'm pretty committed to it. So why am I feeling lonely? I *like* having time to myself. Maybe it's all the smooshed together faces on myspace with comments like "us on valentine's day" "US at christmas" "WE were being goofy". It's almost gag worthy. But then, it's sweet too.



The evolution of my heart is really starting to aggravate me. I didn't think about the consequences of taking on singledom for a year. No dating. No innocent coffee. No boys allowed. For one year! But the consequences are that inevitably at the end of the year I will probably want companionship. What I didn't think through was the fact that I wouldn't suddenly wake up one day in August and be ready. It would be gradual. I didn't think about the fact that 5 months in, I might start to want someone around. The feeling fades, I can assure you of that, but it's definitely there. It's here today. It's not even sex that I miss. I'll be real and honest here. It's the intimacy. Someone knowing all my secrets and loving me anyway. I loved having someone to talk to 24 hours a day about the stupid stuff. I loved doing things for someone else, even if it was just grabbing them a sweatshirt while I was getting my jammies on. It meant there was someone else there. I loved laughing at each other. The thing is though, tomorrow I will remember that I hated fighting. I hated the gut dropping feeling of knowing I had just been burned. Again. I'm afraid of it happening again. It keeps me wanting this lifestyle.



The funny thing is I've discovered you can actually do all of those most hated things with yourself. Fighting with yourself over whether to eat the stupid ice cream when you feel like crap or just to cut up an apple and be done with it. Fighting with yourself over your college decisions and career moves. Getting angry at yourself for living in a coma for 3 years. Struggling over what to do next. Drilling yourself with 20 questions of why you didn't, couldn't, wouldn't. Going through the what ifs and should haves. Then there's the I wonders. And then the inevitable will I evers. The I wants.



Hopefully by August I will get a grip or actually HAVE a grip. In the meantime though, I need an apple.

me talk pretty one day....

but not today.  i can't even fake it.

 

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North   You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?"  Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland	 
The Northeast	 
Philadelphia	 
The South	 
The West	 
Boston	 
North Central	 
What'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_american_accent_do_you_have">What American accent do you have? Quiz'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

 

The thing is... when I first moved to Seattle I was made fun of so continously that I made myself not speak like this anymore.  It was funny too because I then realized how horrible the Michigan accent really is. I would talk to my mom on the phone and she would say something like "... and it was only five DOLLARS!"  She sounded like she was screaming the DO.  Instead of aw it was AHHHH. Also, back when I spoke like a normal person, soda was soda, not pop.  Now I sound like a fool again and because my friends love me, they like to remind me on a daily basis. Apparently when I say "and" I sound whiney.  And yeah, I say pop now too. 

 

Here's the kicker though, put me in Boston for a month and you would think I was from there, put me in the south, same thing.  I pick up accents like nobody's business. So while I would love to claim that it's my love for Michigan that makes me speak this way, it's not.  It's just a hidden talent.        

bo(red)

I'm sick so I've been stuck inside for the past few days. No energy to really do anything. The only thing I can think of to do that sounds mildly entertaining is to cook something yummy for dinner. Like chicken parmigian. I hope I can eat it. I thought about going to see a movie but that entails getting dressed and spending money and neither of those sound appealing. I could go to church tonight but coughing all over everyone is kind of rude. And I hate the sniffy person in church. It's like they're trying to be heard on the recording so later on in life they can have a claim to fame when their pastor becomes a televangelist. "Hey listen to this guys! Hear the sniffing... totally me." Jerk.



Board games are meant for 2 and up. I could create an imaginary friend, but you know, I wasn't really planning on going off my rocker this weekend. I could play solitaire but then my right hand will get cold from sitting on the computer all day. I could talk on the phone if my voice worked. I could go through pictures and make a mess but then I'll get tired and I won't want to pick up all the thousands of pics all over the floor. Then my cat will lick them all because she has a fetish with licking tape, envelopes, sticky notes and pictures. My dog will think she's getting closer to him because she wants to play so then he'll chase her and the piles will get unorganized. She'll get mad at the dog and chaos will ensue. I'm too tired for chaos.

So cooking is really my only option here. Guess I'll go defrost some chicken.

sweetest thing ever....

I recently acquired a new part time job picking up 4 kids from school and taking them home. They are the sweetest kids. So today it is snowing like crazy out and I'm late picking them up. It sucks. And then it takes 8 years to get them home because the roads SUCK. Icy/snowy/slushy/sucky. So I get them home with all of their parts and the oldest girl hands me all these papers. SOOOOO cute!

On the first page it says Thank you Miss Kalley! (yes it's spelled wrong who cares!?) and then she drew a blue car underneath it. *aw* Then the next page says:

Thank you for bringing us home from school today, you are the best!

To: Miss. Kalley

Love: Neely (last name here)

Then the next page (I KNOW! Can you believe how many pages!) is Miss. Kalley in block letters in red and blue.

And then on the next page is ME in the middle in a blue dress and with curly hair and the four of them on either side of me. It's so funny. I have these giant red lips and the girls all have small lips and then the brother has giant red lips too. LOL!



Then the last page just says Thank You



Is that not the sweetest thing EVER!? It's only the FIRST day!!!! Can you imagine what migth happen on my birthday!?



I just had to share. It was TOO cute.

love but hate

I have to go grocery shopping today. On my new dumb budget. Ok, here it is. I love grocery shopping. It's always an adventure. I love getting a cart because mine is ALWAYS broken. It either veers right or left, maybe one of the wheels gets stuck, or it just makes a rockin' noise. I love walking through the produce section because people always look at me funny when I pick something up and put it back. I have zero etiquette when it comes to that. I'm not buying a nasty apple just because I touched it. I don't care. It'll make you wash your stupid food before you eat it (and you should anyway). You know the farmer picked his nose and the produce guy at the store is 16 and Lord knows where his hands have been. (I'm betting on no hot water.) I also love how there are 17 different kinds of ketchup, but it's hard to find 4 rolls of toilet paper. You may only buy 24 triple rolls.



I love how a lady will park her giant ass cart (I realize it's not ACTUALLY bigger than my own) in the middle of the aisle and then glare at you when you gently move it over so you can get past. You'd think it would be okay with her since she's at the OTHER end of the aisle. I love that I always forget to get dog food and then have to figure out a place for the 50lb. bag among the eggs, tomatoes, and glass jars of whatnot. I love looking for an ingredient that SHOULD be in the spice aisle but find it in the canned foods. I love when I spontaneously buy something not on my list.



My absolute favorite thing about the grocery store though has GOT to be checking out. It's the highlight of my bi-week. As an American I am always in a hurry even when I'm not, so I always look for the shortest aisle. A caution for Americans actually in a hurry. There's a reason there's only one person in this lane. It will be one of these three:

A) It's a new cashier. (New cashiers... can't find the code for bananas, don't know how to redeem a gift certificate, and bag slow.)

B) The person wanted their groceries to be rung up in 3 separate transactions, they bought the wrong juice, or forgot the bread. (I am NOT making fun of WIC people, don't even try it. I'm just making a factual observation.)

or (and this is my personal fave)

C) Manager register 3!! (BTW, said manager is either on a break, cleaning up glass and honey in aisle 80, or "didn't hear the call".)



I always get the short aisle. And I always stand in line for 20 minutes without fail. A theory is that I could go grocery shopping 5 times and get 12 items each time and check out in the self checkout lane, but guess who's in the self checkout? Yeah. Foreigners... who can't read English. Or old people, who can't figure out that you have to put the ITEM IN THE BAG before scanning the next item.



Another of my favorite things about checking out...

I am anal about which food goes in which bag with which other food. I specifically place my food in such an order that it will end up this way when I get home for ease of stocking. However, not once have I figured out how the frozen stuff ends up with a cereal box in it. What. the. F. Then comes the bill...

I suck at food budgets. I do. Because I always think of something I want to make for the week and then I turn around and go searching through the aisles again. Then I get home and realize I forgot the chicken for it. Which then leads to another cart, another glare, another cashier and another messed up bag. All because I suck at food budgets. I get so excited when I finally get up to the cashier and slide my card that I forget about the amount that was just up on the screen. My receipt says, "Congratulations! You saved $0.09!!" with a big red circle around it like I'm awesome, so I must be. Then I get home and shudder.

But I do like grocery shopping. The shopping part. I like looking at food. Smelling produce, finding the squarest box, getting the last _____. It's fun! Especially when the aisle hog wanted it.

Well, off I go. With a list. *boo* And a budget. *hiss*

for your listening enjoyment....

For all my stalkers who have been visiting and not leaving a trace of their identities, I've added some music. So while you rummage through my space you now have some fantastic if not hilarious music to listen to. It's all entertaining. I charge you to grab a beverage and stay awhile even. Some are reflective of my true feelings and some are flashbacks from my youth. Others are just great classic songs that belong on all playlists, at least if you're any self RESPECTing woman. Some will make you pee your pants laughing... or maybe they'll make you go shit on the coats?



If you dare to understand any of this blog... I encourage you to check out the playlist.



Suggestions are welcome. Afterall.. you're the one that has to listen to it.

i hope they can read this!

PET RULES



To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door -- nose height.



Dear Dogs and Cats:



The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The

other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw

print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it

becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing

in the slightest.



The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating

me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I

fall faster than you can run.



I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry

about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure

your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they

sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other

stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking

tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to

maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.



For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by

some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not

necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw

under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the

same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years

--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.



The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog or cat's butt.

I cannot stress this enough!



To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our

front door:



To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:



1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the

furniture. (That's why they call it furniture).

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal -- to me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter

who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.



Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:



1. Eat less.

2. Don't ask for money all the time.

3. Are easier to train.

4. Usually come when called.

5. Never drive your car.

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.

7. Don't smoke or drink alcoholic beverages.

8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions.

9. Don't wear your clothes.

10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and ....

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.