1. Sunblock.... eyelids! :)
2. No matter how many times you try to fold your thong... it will ALWAYS come unfolded so just stop wasting your time and throw it in the damn drawer.
3. If your nephew (or other small child) asks for bunny milk... do not look at him strangely... he is simply referring to milk with Nesquik.
4. Polishing your toenails after half a bottle of wine could result in painted cuticles and/or toilet seats.
5. Charter does not employ American customer service reps...stop calling back to see if you'll get someone who speaks clear English.
6. Michigan drivers will never use their turn signal at the appropriate time... therefore always assume that the person in front of you is turning right or left. It's hard but try to read their minds and steer accordingly.