Thursday, March 19, 2009

Random Acts of Kindness Get You a FREE Drink!

So I went to Starbucks today (I KNOW alright!? I KNOW) and was waiting in the drive through with my happy little gift card. I got it for Christmas and still have yet to use it simply because I'm not a huge fan and I get 38 cent coffee at work that is so much better. Anyhoodle... The truck in front of me had something sitting on her bumper so I got out of my car grabbed whatever it was and handed it to the lady. She exclaimed THANK YOU and I giggled and told her she was welcome. It didn't look like anything special. Anyway, I was buying a drink and a surprise drink for my roomie with the gift card and when I got up to the window to pay.... you guessed it. Exclamation lady had bought my drinks for me!!! How cool is that?


As if I need another nickname....

You know the drill. Copy the note and change the answers to suit yourself. Tag the person who tagged you first, and pass it on!

Kallay Anna Carr

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
Ann Andrew

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
William William (hahahahaha)

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Pink Kitten or Pink Puppy (sounds intimidating, no?)

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Anna Saint Joseph

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Periwinkle Coffee

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Kaca (isn't that another name for poop?)

9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Blue Moon Snickerdoodle (i'm slowly realizing why people think i am nice)

10.ROCK STAR NAME:(current pets name, current street name)
Hercules Lyons

11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Oliver Linden (ugh... now i'm a BOY!?)

12.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)

13.YOUR IRAQI.. NAME:(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)

14.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Madeline (cooooool!)

15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Heavenly Whatchamacallit

25 Random Facts You May Already Know About Me (but probably not)

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, click the "write a new note" button, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click post.

1. I have a backwards "J" on my left hand because I fell off a chair when I was little with a bowl in my hand and the jagged edge of the bowl broke my fall. So, damn, mom was right. If you stand on a chair you could fall. No wonder I'm afraid of ladders, step stools and the like....

2. I was born Julia Kallay Freeland and 27 years later am now Kallay Anna Carr. No, I am not in the witness protection program.

3. I am awesome at Cranium. YOU want ME on YOUR team!!

4. I hate the words... panties, creamy, moist, and the four letter c word. Panties because of Victoria's Secret sales people, creamy because of a mac & cheese commercial from the 90's, moist because of a chef in college who referred to all baked goods as moist, and the c word because it's just unclassy.

5. I hate it when people ask me why I didn't finish culinary school... well.... because I wanted to own my own restaurant, not be a chef. They are different. I actually had a customer ask me the other day why I wasn't doing what I wanted to do and I replied "I am! I love coffee and the cafe business and I will own my own cafe one day." To which he replied "Oh. Sorry." dork.

6. I am terrified of singing in front of other people, but I have always dreamed of being a lounge singer. Go figure.

7. I have started and quit smoking 5 times.

8. I pace when I talk on the phone and then wonder why I am out of breath when I am done.

9. I can beat any man I know in a burping contest. (yes, i know... unclassy)

10. I LOVE old people. Their stories, their grumpier than all get out attitude, and canes. They're just kind of awesome.

11. I have climbed Mount Rainer. Not to the top but high enough that I could see Mt. St. Helen's and other surrounding mountains. It was gorgeous.

12. I would move back to Seattle in a heartbeat if my family wasn't so far away.

13. I could eat Taco Bell everyday. Ice cream too.

14. I LOVE pink, obsessively so. I used to get mad in Kindergarten when the big crayons only came in primary colors.

15. I LOVE brushing my teeth!

16. I have a mild celebrity crush on Vin Diesel. (even though he's 3 inches shorter than me)

17. I look 6 months preggers after eating rice, but I can't stop eating it.

18. I write restaurant reviews for a website in Knoxville. (

19. Don't tell my sister, but certain friends (Kerry) would call me June Cleaver when I lived in Washington.

20. I had an emergency appendectomy last summer and have hardly anything to show for it. No cool scars. :(

21. I have now officially read two series I said I never would... Harry Potter and Twlight.

22. I have moved (hold on to your seats) 17 times since I was 18, give or take a few.

23. I am afraid of the dark.

24. I wanted a cool nick name when I was little because everyone else in my family had one. (ex... Kick, Midge, Bec, Sis, Banjo, etc.) So they asked me what I wanted to be called and I came up with... Flashlight Corn. It stuck and my family had Happy Birthday Flashlight Corn written on my 16th Birthday Cake. I was also called Grace because of my stunning ability to trip over air. My sister has also come up with plenty over the years including but not limited to... Kallerina Ballerina, Kallay Carr-door, Kallay Carr-bohydrate, Kallay Carr-digan, Kallay Carr-borator, Kal-orie Carr.........

25. I would rather scrub a toilet than wash a sinkful of dirty dishes.


26. I never leave the house without mascara on because my eyelashes are invisible they are so white.

27. I have enough lipgloss for about 40 people.

28. I love stand up comedy.

29. I had a small addiction to black olives when I was younger... I have taken control since then.

30. I literally can not function with coffee in the morning.

31. I am extremely competitive.

32. My favorite holiday is Valentine's Day, even when I'm single.

33. History bores me to tears.

34. I want to learn to speak Italian.

35. I have a "thing" for southern accents. (not the hicktown redneck ones... the OTHER ones)

36. I can't stand Sheryl Crow's voice.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

ok retarded question of the day....

is there wine in your chocolate chip cookies?

i mean, really....

Sunday, March 8, 2009

i had a WTF moment....

It started off as any normal Saturday afternoon... Cafe is full of people. Blender is going full tilt. Food is flying out of the bake case and we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Like I said, this is completely normal for a Saturday afternoon.

Usually around 5 o'clock we get a lull before our next rush around 7 when people start going to the movies and parking themselves in the cafe to enjoy a caffeinated beverage before their cinematic adventures begin. Yesterday.... the lull was null. It was nonstop. By the time my break time rolled around I was out of breath and *sweating*.

So I took my break which was really more of a bitch and moan session with one of my coworkers and returned an hour later only to find a long line and the beginnings of a night of hell. We were running out of things left and right... whipped cream, cookies, cold brew concentrate, espresso... it was insane. I felt like I was running on my hands and my brain had officially left the building. Restocking food and making more whipped cream, running (literally) to get change, restocking milk, trying to keep up with the mess in the cafe... (Just an aside here: Pick up your damn books, bring me your dirty dishes and stop spilling stuff and not telling anyone! It's rude!) Our once dead cafe had turned into a circus of movie-goers and first daters, old fuddy duddies and laptop aficionados. By 8 p.m. we were headed for a train wreck. Food was pulled for the next day, some of the dishes were clean (because my coworker is a rockstar) and that was IT.

Closing tasks for a cafe are more than you would imagine... condiment bar needs to be restocked, sweeping and mopping need to occur, everything needs to be wiped down, food waste needs to be recorded, trash cans need to be changed out and the sad thing is that every time we would do this an hour later everything had to be done AGAIN. It was like we were closing and reclosing over and over again. The problem was... there were only two of us and between the onslaught of customers and our patience levels dropping way below zero, stress was reaching epic levels and there was no end in sight.

9 p.m.: WTF!?

Closings tasks completed: one. (out of about 30)
Customers in line: seven.
Workers scheduled: one.

So I did what any good manager would do.... I called a time OUT! Blew my whistle and said... no. I called our service manager over and told her my other person is staying until ten. I can not handle a constant line of customers and be expected to close this cafe by 10:30. It's not happening. No way. No how. *bullhorn*

So we devised a plan.... my other server would stay with me until 10 (and he graciously offered to stay because leaving would be like throwing me to the lions with steak hanging off my ass) and plowed through the rest of the night.

9:30 p.m.: WTF!?

Closing tasks completed: one.
Customers in line: five.
Blended drinks ordered: five.
Espresso machine: sleepy.

A member of the book floor comes over to help us try and achieve the impossible... closing the cafe in one hour with absolutely NOTHING done. I write an apology to the opener explaining this insane situation and hope and pray that she understands. We continue steaming, blending, getting ice, restocking food, restocking fridges, and trying with all of our might to not throw knives at asshole customers asking asshole questions... like "do you have espresso?" FOR SERIOUS, PEOPLE!? We wasted 4 oz. of decaf all day. That's it. We were brewing half pots of decaf all night and were continuously running out. Usually we brew a quarter batch and dump it down the drain an hour and a half later. I have never in my almost 5 years of this business seen anything like I saw last night. It was pure and utter chaos.

So now there are three of us scrambling to clean. Closing announcements begin at 9:30 to explain the new store hours, cleaning and scrubbing and trash duties are in full force along with the blending, steaming, restocking and other madness.

We closed at ten with stragglers still collecting their possessions in the cafe and had completed exactly three closing tasks. My rock star server leaves for the night and I have a half hour to work a miracle. Me and the awesome book floor volunteer manage to clean dishes, empty most of the trash, wipe down all the counters, clean the espresso machine, fill coffee urns with hot water, sweep the cafe, stock the condiment bar, wipe down the bake case, record the food waste, leave a love note and the bell strikes 10:30. I felt horrible. The cafe was clean on the outside but an utter disaster on the inside. But with no leniency on our strict hours (that I had already gone over for the week) there was no saving it. I had to leave.

My adrenaline was so high that when I finally made it to my car talking/walking a million miles per minute, I sat down in the driver's seat and realized my whole body was vibrating. Literally shaking. I couldn't control my feet, my hands were like little back massagers with brand new batteries, and my head was spinning. So I took a deep breath, started the car, threw on the radio and began my journey home.

I arrived home to a bottle of my favorite wine and my roommate talking to me at warp speed about a house that we are looking at renting. I finally flipped my shit, gave her the look of death said "I need you to be quiet and leave me alone for 10 minutes so I can decompress. My heart rate is above normal and I can't understand the words that are coming out of your mouth." My facebook was going ape shit bananas with messages, comments, wordscraper turns and holy crap I was overstimulated.

Deep breath. 10 minutes of peace and half a glass of wine later, and finally my body was responding to the relaxation signals. I couldn't even think about the night without my heart rate spiking and me getting paranoid about the reaction of the opening staff. I felt like a jerk.

I finally calmed down and consoled myself with the wise words of Dane Cook...

The situation was a cluster fuck, but.... I did my best. And that's all they can expect.


Friday, March 6, 2009

Just when you think you can smile....

So yesterday was just a horrible day. Two of my favorite coworkers' jobs were eliminated. I was hung over like nobody's business. Threw up at work. It was just awful. SO I came home. Got in comfy clothes, grabbed a giant water, and facebooked my fingers off. Roomie and I decided to go pick up my car from the bar because I refuse to drive drunken. And then it was off to greasy food land to cure the hang over. Hooray for Taco Bell!

Had a nice class-less dinner at Taco Bell. Ate my body weight in nachos and other nacho cheese covered goodies and drove home.

Only to find a car very far into my front yard, a wobbly old rich guy and a terrified 16 year old. What the HELL is going on!? Apparently wobbly old rich guy has had a few too many and drove around 50 mph across our street and parked his car on a stump in our yard missing the 16 year old's car by about a car length. By the time I arrived the car had been there for about 15 minutes and no one had thought to call the police. So I dial 911 and tell them there is a car and a drunk guy in my front yard and could they kindly remove them? A few minutes later the wrecking service arrives and I tell them to please wait, the police are on the way. Wrecking service guys freak out because they aren't supposed to be there before the cops. I told them not to worry that they were called by someone else and they won't get in trouble. Breathe boys.

Police finally show up and arrest the wobbly old rich guy for drunk driving and probably running a stop sign and probably some other things like property damage, etc. FINALLY the wrecking service attempts to remove the Infiniti from our front yard. I felt bad for wobbly old rich guy because he has obviously already had a bad night and now it's way worse with his jacked up really nice car and his impending night in the slamma. BUT I was also really pissed off. My "dad" died in a drunk driving accident and killed himself and another person who was like an older sister to me. I have zero tolerance for this kind of thing. Plus, the 16 year old and I talked and apparently his brother had been killed in a drunk driving accident 3 years ago. And the cops were having a good ol' time chuckling and carrying on. I thought... how insensitive! But they ARE men so maybe that's ok for them. I'm not sure. Whatever the case it pissed me off.

So I started getting all weepy teary faced because it brings back memories. I cried because wobbly old rich guy could have killed this sweet little boy and his parents would have been devastated AGAIN. I cried because I missed Fred and I was actually angry at him for the first time in 12 years. Interesting how grief comes around and bites you in the ass when you least expect it. I cried because I walk my dog where this man crashed and could have been killed or worse... Hercules could have been killed. I was just emotional about it. Woke up this morning thinking about Fred, drove to work in a daze and just didn't feel good.

As the day wore on my day improved, my mood changed, and I started to feel better about life. As I turned onto the road home I drove by another head on collision complete with fire truck and ambulance and it all came crashing back again. A sign of the times I guess. I've never seen so many accidents in a 24 hour period. On my way home yesterday I saw a guy smashed into a pole right around the corner from our house. Then on our way to get my car we saw a refrigerator and a stove in the middle of the highway and some cars on the side of the road that apparently didn't see them coming. Then our front yard and then the accident on the way home... It's just depressing. People drinking in the middle of the day to forget about how much money they don't have and then ruining their lives by driving.

I realize this is turning into a PSA but too bad for you. It made me sad. And I thought we all might need a reminder of why we call a friend or call a taxi. It's worth it.