Friday, September 11, 2009

things that should not occur during the week you quit smoking...

1. Oil changes that cost $400 due to new required tires.

2. Fighting. Of any kind. Including... friends, boyfriend, mother, dog, neighbors, distributors, bosses, etc.

3. Ex boyfriend sending weird texts.

4. Old stalkers making another appearance.

5. Bill payments... especially the kind that have potential to make your account negative.

6. Bombardment of work. I'm talking rogue orders, reviews that aren't done yet, boss getting mad because my idea of giving notice is not her idea of giving notice (me giving more than two weeks in unacceptable), scheduling issues which is more like scheduling cluster fuck of immeasurable fuckedupedness.... it goes on. I'll say... I wanted to quit this week to the point where one day I didn't put on my apron all day in case I needed to just leave. Yes, it's that bad.

7. Random injury... woke up one morning with a big ankle and a scratch, then discovered random bruises all over my body, and my shin hurts now. I'm beginning to think that Maddie might be beating the shit out of me at night. Not sure why though. I feed her!

8. Medical issues. No further explanation given.

9. Large meals. They require cigarettes.

10. Other people smoking. Yeah, I'm THAT selfish. I want the world to quit smoking the week I do. Because when I go on my break to smoke usually it's children I have to hide from and baby strollers. The week I quit smoking, all I see are smokers. Every fucking where. Old people, young people, like 16 year old young people, people my age. People I know. People I don't know. All of them mocking me. It's relentless.

1 comment:

Allyson said...

Hmm...this is how I felt when I was pregnant and wanted desperately to have a chardonnay...or a vodka and cranberry...or a blue moon. Somehow, cranberry and pineapple juice just doesn't quite cut it.