Friday, December 9, 2005

i love my animals... but Jesus H. Christ!

So far I am not having much luck with my animals today! Case in point: The first thing I woke up to was a dog/cat fight. Which is usually a daily occurance, but today it was on the bed, and I was almost a casualty of war. Then I proceed to let the dog outside to let him get all of his good morning energy out. He comes inside and everything is good and right in the world. So I get breakfast which these days is Special K and a banana. I'm eating my cereal and soon my spoon is being raped by the cat, she NEEDS the milk like crack or something. I push her away and she hits me back. (My cats do this from time to time. Feisty bitches.) So she goes and lays down on the other side of the desk. I finish the cereal and Hercules comes in chewing something inedible from the trash can. (also a daily thing) I try to get him to spit it out but he chews faster and swallows it. Nice. So I'm sure later we will have a doggie accident. So while I"m tending to the dog, my banana is free reign to the cat lying on the desk. So she goes and lays down on it. On my open banana. What. the hell? So I try to get her off of it because usually I reassemble the banana when I put it down so I'm thinking I might be able to salvage it. Oh no, not today I'm not! There's hair. All over it. And a foot print to boot.

Why do my animals do this? Do they think it's funny to torture their human? I love them, I do. I would never get rid of them. But if they don't stop stepping in my food, trying to eat inedible objects or trying to kill each other... I'm going to hang them all by their 4 little legs from the ceiling with santa hats on. Maybe not, but good GOD could I get a break!?

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