Sunday, April 27, 2008

i'm good at this.


A dream is ending for me. But another chapter is starting and it's time for me to accept the change. When I moved to South Carolina back in September I was so excited and so happy to be moving. I was doing something for *me* not for anyone else. I wasn't moving here to be with a guy or to make anyone proud of me. I just did it. And I did it on my own. I sold what I had to make the money to move. I moved all of my stuff to my mom's and drove to South Carolina with whatever I had in my car and that was it. The beginning of a new chapter in my life.

I've made some amazing friends, I have a good job, I live in paradise and I absolutely love it here. I've lost a friend or two, but they weren't true friends anyway. I will miss it here. Really and truly. I've learned so much about myself. I've gained my confidence back and have healed my heart. I've learned how resilient I really am and that I can take whatever life brings me. I've learned the way of the south and have seen how much different it is across that Mason Dixon line. I've experienced new things that I never thought I would be able to. I've seen cities and towns that I've always dreamt about but they were never really within reach. I found love. I found lifelong friends. And I realized my true potential. These are all things I can take with me away from this beautiful place, and I intend to.

But it's time to move on. With my roommate and best friend moving home to TN to help her family and be with her boyfriend, I am left to ponder my next move. Luckily, I have a wonderful man by my side to help me. I'm moving home to Michigan to my family and get to be near my nephew again and I'll get to know my niece. I'm really excited for that. It might sound ridiculous but I'm not as excited to move home as I was to move down here. Fulfilling a lifelong dream will do that. But I'm sure I have a lot of great things in store for me when I move home too. Granted gas is higher, jobs are few and far between and there will be a lot of obstacles... but I'm sure that happiness is waiting for me there. New friends, new great memories, new surroundings... Those are all things that I love about moving.

My family is taking the news as bittersweet. My grandma couldn't be happier and is so excited to see me again and I am thrilled to see her too and be able to spend time with her. My mom is worried sick and has nothing fantastic to say. My sister hasn't responded but I'm sure she is rowing along in mom's boat. It's frustrating for me. This isn't an easy thing to have to face... leaving your dream. It would be nice if they would realize that and at least try to put on a happy face.

For now though, we have a lot of work ahead of us. Packing, moving north, quitting a job I love and hate, leaving my friends that I love, and accepting another change.

I can do it. I know I can.

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