Monday, July 28, 2008


let's say.. hypothetically, that you moved away from your favorite place. you moved away from said place because someone promised you something really fantastic in return. such as say, i don't know, love? respect? support? your options were slim and it seemed like manna from heaven. let's say that. k?

so you move away from um.. paradise? friendships? awesome life? great job? freedom? yes let's call it freedom... so you move away from freedom only to find that these promises were some what empty in say... cement. it would be like buying a bag of totino's pizza rolls only to find that there is no pizza in said rolls. just the crusty outside. and while these crusty outsides are in fact... yummy... you can't seem to move past the fact that there is no pizza filling. if you had moved away from freedom knowing you were only going to receive the crusty outside rather than the whole package of goodness... would you not feel slightly, if not mostly, gypped? deceived? maybe even fucked? would you not yearn for the warm gooey comfort of the delectable treat you had been hoping for?

that's what i thought. unfortunately... you lost your receipt. stupid you. so how does one return these empty rolls? do you even return them? or do you just hope that next time you purchase a bag it's filled with exactly what it had promised? do you forgive totino's and their giant mistake or do you say... maybe... "fuck this! i want my goo!"??

if you're like me, you set out to get your goo! however, it's one of those long rebate processes. where you have to write the company. and wait for a reply. then perhaps concoct another letter, and wait for a reply. eventually, they reply with a form letter apologizing for their giant mistake and thank you for bringing it to their attention. they'll try to get better at quality assurance. sincerely, the never going to do a damn thing about it company. p.s. poor you.

the letter didn't work! "but", you say to yourself, "i poured my heart into that letter!" "i explained in detail why it was so disappointing to not have my goo!" so you try again. and again. and again. and always get the same reply. do you grow weak with every response? do you get hopeful after every letter that maybe some day, some time, you'll get a coupon for free rolls WITH goo? you persist. you beg for goo. they say... no goo for you.

so, still hypothetically, one day you get fed up... you want your damn goo. and you set out to find it yourself. you'll make your OWN goo! and it'll be better goo than they promised! but... what about the yummy crust? you'll miss the yummy crust. what is goo without the yummy crust anyway? "!!!!!" you've got an idea! you'll find a new yummy crust too! surely there is a yummier crust! and so you've got a goal.

hm... how to make goo? and find a yummy crust? you need a plan. you'll need money for this adventure. you'll also need supplies. and if you're successful you'll need extra money for the factory! but where? how? and fear sets in. you worry that you will feel guilty for looking for a yummier crust and for making better goo. you worry that maybe the company might send you that coupon! the what ifs and the should haves run amok. day and night you worry and still you don't have your goo. just the yummy crust.

at what point do you stop? how long does this madness go on? how long are you going to hope that your goo will magically appear?

how long?

i mean, hypothetically speaking, do you work to get back to freedom? or do you keep on secretly hoping that cement will become your new freedom? that this person will suddenly realize your eye is on the prize.... and give you your goo?

what do you do? hypothetically speaking of course....

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