Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Yeah, Good Idea...comparing my life to an airport.

Your Daily Horoscope: November 24, 2009
Feb. 19 - Mar 20 (Wrong Sign?)
Some series of events has come to an end Pisces, because the signs are clear that a new path is opening for you. Right now, all you need to change your life for the better is the courage to take the first step, and as the Quarter Moon is in your sign, you are likely to find that courage. It's like a moving sidewalk at the airport, just step on - you have everything you need to succeed. Don't let your fear of the unknown spoil the opportunity that is to come. This week could be very important as far as the lunar month is concerned.

Oh Daily Horoscope, you don't even know the half of it. I have been told that I have contrails, which is really nothing more than a plane fart, but ok, we'll go with it. Yes, I move a lot. I grew up in the Midwest, moved West(ish), then all the way West, then back to the Midwest, then South, then North, then South again and now we're back here in the Great Mitten. So... fair statement. In 10 years I have moved (hold on to your flotation device) 24 times. Twenty Four. I guess I never really liked the "third time's a charm" mentality. So, that said, your prediction of a new path is not all that far off. However, this is me and you just compared my life to a moving sidewalk and that's just a mental picture that's too funny to pass up.

Thing is, the sidewalk ends. Then you have to hoof it to the next sidewalk, or just get off and go to your gate. Most people can handle the inevitable, albeit abrupt, end of the sidewalk. Me? I fall ass over shoulders onto the carpet. So, my question is, how long is this ride on the moving sidewalk going to be? Yay me for having the tools to succeed and yay you for predicting my Piscean over analysis of the situation by throwing in the "Have No Fear! Opportunity is Here!" But survey says, I'm going to need a little more information. Lunar location and signs being what they may, I'm still skeptical. Don't get me wrong, this has been one hell of a carpeted walk to the moving sidewalk. I've got a heavy suitcase, penniless purse and 2 crazy furballs I'm dragging along beside me and for this analogy I'm wearing heels so, bless the moving sidewalk for even existing. I'm sweating and struggling and more than ready for the break.

It's just that I'm that girl. The girl who gets up and showers, applies makeup, finds a suitable outfit and leaves the house looking pretty with it. An hour later I want my pajamas and a nap. Not because I'm tired but because I've probably stepped in dog doo without realizing it until someone points out the smell, I might have forgotten to set the parking break and apparently coffee looks good on me. Did I mention my shirt's on inside out and backwards? I'm not a pessimist, I'm just really that unlucky. So, I step on this moving sidewalk only to find I've placed my hand on the only part of the rail including someone's chewed up grape Bubbilicious.

While your fairy tale is sweet, life is never that simple for me. Let's, for the sake of all things shiny and gay, look at the positives for the week. First of all, it's Thanksgiving and I have loads to be thankful for. One of which, and always most importantly, is my family. My grandmother told me about a position to care for the elderly and no one loves old people like this girl. So, the second thing I am thankful for is possible gainful employment. Tomorrow I will learn my assignment and I am overly excited about that. If for no other reasons than to a) be able to share the comedy that is to ensue and (of course) b) receive a paycheck.

Here's where the sidewalk may end... I'm still not making any progress on my career path, which in case you haven't heard, is to own my own cafe and be the best coffee snob there ever was. I'm still stepping on the belt. I need this job. If not for my sanity, for the money. I'll take it, believe me. I would feel much better if I could find the correlation between coffee and wrinkles though. Plus, I'm dying to unpack my boxes which are, for now, sprawled about willy-nilly in the garage labeled with reckless abandon (thank you Oliver and John) and wouldn't you know it? I can't find a damned thing. It took me a month to figure out which box my hair dryer was in! With over 50 boxes to sift through, I have given up on finding anything else. Unpacking and repacking an entire garage of a lifetime of my stuff is not on the top of my list. So what I'm saying is, I hope there's a Chicago apartment somewhere on this moving sidewalk of yours, Daily Horoscope, because a girl needs her straightener and her shoes.

Also, don't read your horoscope at 3am.

1 comment:

Allyson said...

Well let me just say CONGRATULATIONS on being gainfully employed. You have risen above the over 10% rest of the population. I can't wait to hear about this job. I just know that there are going to be so many great stories about old men chasing old ladies down the hallway with a Viagra pill and all sorts of hilarity about teeth popping out. Yay!

I finally have my little "shop around the corner" but getting here has been a long road and I have even longer to go before I'm established and profitable. So, when you open your little coffee shop in Chicago (we come to Chicago about 4 times/year...we have friends that work at CBOT), I shall only buy my brew from you. But until then, let the money and uncontrollable bodily functions begin!!

PS my husband is a Pisces. I read both of our horoscopes for the next day before I fall asleep...I see it as a planning tool.