Thursday, November 20, 2008

but what i really mean is...

have you ever talked to someone or written someone and you want to say something, but you can't. it would be awkward or it would cause tension. i hate this feeling. i have something to say. i want to tell this person so badly. but i just can't. it would be weird. for one, my friends would think i'm an idiot. (and i AM idiotic on most calendar days) two, the person would probably think i'm some sort of insane asylum escapee. and three, i can't believe that this thought/feeling is even in there. really, i can't.

it's just been bubbling up in there. floating around in my head. maybe if i just write it out and then delete it, it will help? nope. didn't work. still there.

this is strange. i shouldn't be feeling this way. no, seriously. i really shouldn't. i should be moving on and forgetting this and shoving it in the back of my head closet. way back. like bury it. under that one thing that i forgot about and now remember again.

fuck.

dear brain,

please erase this ridiculous thought/feeling from your cells. we are not going there. at least not today or anytime this week. or probably anytime this month. we need to simmer in it. or hide it.

much love...

self

damn.

damndamndamn.

1 comment:

iTeresa said...

Move past that thought, and move on, its not worth it, you know its not, its the lack of nicotine warping the thoughts in your head......